60 Thoughts That Go Through Your Mind On The Paris Metro

This is more of a comedic post, but it’s just so true!  If you have ever been on the metro here in Paris (or any metro/tube/subway for that matter, all of these thoughts are relatable). Hope this gives you a laugh!

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1. A five minute wait, wtf is this?

2. Finally, it’s here.

3. This shit better not be crowded.

4. Great, crowded.

5. At last, an open seat.

6. If you let your fucking child take that open seat…

7. Thank. God.

8. Lady if you don’t get your purse out of my face..

9. Why is everyone staring at me?

10. Is there something on my face?

11. Did I cover up that zit?

12. Time for iPhone front camera mirror check.

13. Phew, I’m fine.

14. Why is that man eating a SANDWICH on the metro? Doesn’t he realize he is smelling up the entire car?

15. So many hot middle aged men in suits, YUM.

16. And he just caught me looking at his bulge.

17. Aaaand he just caught me again. STOP YOURSELF.

18. Oh god, tourists. They’re loud as fuck.

19. Please hold onto the pole. You’re going to fall on me in 3..2..

20. Yep, a huge Italian man in my lap.

21. So awkward.

22. Please get off.

23 I wonder what that Asian lady is listening to on her iPod.

24. Probably Gangnam Style.

25. OMG that was racist, stop…

26. How many people would judge me if they knew I’m listening to spice girls right now…

27. Lady with baguettes, classic.

28. If that guy staring moves closer to talk to me…

29. Oooof course he moves.

30. My headphones are in you creep, that’s obviously code for don’t fucking talk to me.

31. Oh you’re gonna pull one out so I hear you? We’re playing that game?

32. TOUCH ME ONE MORE TIME.

33. That’s it, changing cars.

34. Oh for the love of god, an accordion player.

35. No, I’m not giving you my precious coins. You probably make more than I do.

36. What if he really does make more than I do…

37. I’m a failure at life.

38. Wait he’s actually kind of okay…

39. Fine, here’s a euro.

40. Fuck I could have used that euro. I’m never giving them anything again.

41. Where am I?

42. Okay, five more stops.

43. Can anyone tell I just farted?

44. Oh that guy totalllllly knows.

45. Please don’t smell.

46. Oh god, the smell.

47. Everyone obviously thinks it’s the homeless guy, obviously it’s him…

48. If it gets so crowded I have to stand up, I’m going to be pissed.

49. Really Chatelet, really.

50. Stop staring at me lady, I’m not getting up.

51. FINE BITCH ILL STAND.

52. If the homeless man touches me I’m going to scream.

53. HES SO CLOSE.

54. Okay focus on something else, like that hot guy with the dreads.

55. Wait he’s like so hot.

56. I’m sweating like it’s so crowded.

57. I hope I don’t smell.

58. Sorry homeless man, everyone is going to think it’s you again.

59. It’s probably never actually them…

60. And I just missed my stop…fuck this.

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